Friday, April 17, 2015


They met in their late teens and had a whirlwind romance. He was gentlemanly, chivalrous, considerate, attentive, gentle. She was swept off her feet, head over heels in love. When he proposed after a (brief) courtship, she immediately said yes.

Shortly after they'd gotten married, he started to change. He was prone to losing his temper and bouts of rage. First he was verbally abusive, then he started hitting her. Soon, he would often scream vulgar names at her while pulling her hair, punching and slapping her. She quietly endured her husband's abusive behavior for a period of time. 

I puzzled at why anyone would put up with being mistreated in this manner.

She wondered if she was at fault, whether she had somehow contributed to the situation. She felt embarrassed, anxious, guilty. Was it her fault? Maybe if she could be a good obedient wife, stay patient, and remain with him, he would be assured of her love and return to how he had been when they were courting. 

However, the abuse escalated ; getting more and more serious.

Finally, she she had had enough. She decided to leave him. They'd gotten married in church and a huge part of her social life and support system was derived from the community. She decided to confide in them. She hoped that they would provide her with comfort, understanding, and protection.

Face to face sitting across the pastor and his wife, the floodgates finally broke. She wept as she echoed her days of suffering and silence. It was a huge relief to have this burden off her back. Nevertheless what she heard next would make her heart drop.

   " You must go back to the man you married. "


   " You pledged so yourself - 'til death do us part. "


   " The bible says so too. "

It makes me sad to think of the shock, hurt, shame, confusion, and disappointment she must have felt.

What if her husband were to injure her? Cripple her? Disfigure her? Or at the very extreme, end her life?

I don't think you should always interpret the bible so literally.
Sometimes it does more harm than good.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015