I've always prided myself on being nonchalant and able to keep a cover on my emotions and feelings.
I do think I have a better control than most. I can be boiling mad or utterly upset, yet still put on an unruffled front. If you follow my writings or know me in person, you would know the turbulence which occurred some months ago. I thought I was doing fine piecing things back together, arranging my life back in order and being well on track moving forward.
Over the past few days so many things have erupted, ripping through a seemingly calm surface and filling me again with doubt and uncertainty and questions. How some people can give off a certain impression or have said specific things but completely fall through in following through. (This context includes myself). Intentions are abstract ; only actions are tangible.
You think you know people. You don't.
You think you know the world. You don't.
You think you know yourself. You don't.
It is through periods of turmoil and distress that you find out
Who and what people really are.
Who and what YOU really are.
What you find out.. can catch you entirely by surprise.
You may be completely repulsed, or completely rejoice.
You may have beauty, or brutality.
I realize that I am young and have such, such a long way to go. There is still a lot I am not aware of, much I have to discover and grow.
All that being said, I am ultimately glad for the good and the bad of everything and everyone I have seen thus far.
That includes myself.