Wednesday, January 30, 2013


overheard a conversation between two girls talking about people who can't afford branded goods, buying instead the 'inspired' / 'cheap' / 'imitation' version. apparently it's atrocious that to even DARE carrying around such items and people who do so are apparently pathetic (aka me.)

i felt so indignant i seriously thought i was going to burst.

here is me. with a 'inspired' / 'cheap' / 'imitation' longchamp.

the average price of an original longchamp would be anywhere between rm200-300. i'm glad that i paid a measly price of rm25 for mine.

don't i look like, the most pathetic bimbo ever? * sarcastic *

i don't buy luxury branded items cos although the design of a particular bag which is in trend at the moment may be nice, i don't think it's worth it to pay that much and furthermore i don't feel its justified throwing away so much money on something which will be out of fashion by next season. 

i couldn't care less if it was fake, or if it isn't some authentic calfskin leather that is handsewn intricately handcrafted bejewelled yada yada. if that makes me 'pathetic' by any account, then so be it.


i got a part time job at a preschool as an assistant teacher. one particularly good thing about this sort of job is the working hours are from 8am til about 1.30pm-ish, which leaves the rest of the day free for yourself. while the pay at this preschool in no way compares to what i was previously earning when i worked part time with a private international school, what matters more is keeping myself purposefully occupied during these seven months.

the other day i got told by 5year old kid to "go away and stop bothering me."



my altered sleeping patterns caused by the new job, plus the crazy erraticness of the weather is throwing my training schedule under a heckuva curveball. no matter, once i've adapted i'll be fine. 

the last time i ran was on monday, so i plan to wake up before 5am tomorrow and get a run in before going to work. 

will it totally zombify me for the rest of the day? 

is it impossible? 


regarding the topic at the beginning of this post, out of curiosity i googled 'expensive handbags' and came up with these interesting results

1. A Thousand and One Nights Diamond Purse by Mouawad 
    $3.8 (RM11.4)

The House of Mouawad in Dubai rolled out the most expensive purse ever made that costs cool $3.8 million. The bag is adorned with 4,356 colorless diamonds, 105 yellow diamonds and 56 pink ones and hence it is covered with total of 4,500 diamonds. The total weight of the diamonds is 381 karats and it set record at Guinness World of Records for being the world’s most expensive handbag. The heart-shaped purse, handcrafted from 18kt gold, has a gold chain that can be used as a cling. The bag was crafted by 10 dedicated craftsmen who endlessly worked on this wonder for four months.

2. Crocodile Skin Hermes Birkin
    $203, 150 

A shining red Herm├Ęs exceptional collection rouge H Porosus Crocodile 30 cm Birkin bag with solid 18K white gold & diamond hardware fetched handsome $203,150 at Heritage Auctions’ sale in Dallas, Texas. Bought by an anonymous collector, the bag is regarded to be an extraordinary example of one of the world’s most exceptional handbags.

3. Urban Satchel by Louis Vuitton
    $150, 000

This unique bag is created by the famous Italian fashion brand Louis Vuitton and is made of all the junk items. Now, you would wonder if it is a junk, why is the bag in the list of most expensive handbags? Well, the bag costs $150,000. The bag is combination of waste water bottles, candy wrappers, cigarette packets, tea bags, band aid and many other waste materials. Only 12 pieces were made by the brand and was booked much before it was released.

of all three bags, this takes the cake. it's made out of JUNK for goodness sake, i can't believe that there would be people wanting to buy this bag even if it were priced at like rm10.


Sunday, January 27, 2013



Thursday, January 24, 2013


the past couple of posts have been so emo and heavy and philosophical.
okay that's it enough of wallowing in emo-ness already!

i'm back to my normal chirpy self! 


on monday some of us from inti cf went for dinner at this burger bakar place. apparently it's an extension of the original thing over in wangsa maju. with so much hype and hoo-hah following its name, we decided to check it out for ourselves as well.

there are no menus, all that's available is this huge banner right next to the counter for you to refer to as you place your order.

natthan pondering his order.
"hmmm... which artery clogging choice would satisfy my tastebuds the most?"

the setup of the restaurant is pretty basic and simple, almost spartan. no fancy schmancy fittings or whatnot. i recall it being quite warm in there as well, probably due to lack of airconditioning.

they use a numbering system in serving customers. a sign flashes the order number, and the person who placed that particular order is supposed to go to the counter to collect it themselves.

weiwei and natthan happily waiting for their turn to be called.

the first person at our table to collect his order was ryan.

ryan's double beef baconizer.

will you just LOOK at that.
now, that's a burger! ;)

apparently the patties at burger bakar kaw kaw are handmade, hence being fatter and thicker. unlike SOME other restaurants i could name..
* cough McD's cough *

isaac's chicken burger.

jared smothering his burger in chili sauce.

jared's burger deconstructed.

jared, weiwei, natthan.

myself, natthan, steph.


Burger Bakar Kaw Kaw @ SS15

47-G, SS15/8A, Subang Jaya, Subang, Selangor, 47500
(along the same row as Starbucks)

Google Maps coordinates : 3.074159,101.589473
GPS coordinates : N 3 04.450 , E 101 35.368


Wednesday, January 23, 2013



right now might not feel the best you've ever felt. you might feel that things will never get better. 

but don't give up. 

tomorrow might be something wonderful. whatever you're worrying about may be resolved. tomorrow could be a great day, you may smile and feel better.

in a few years time, whatever that is making you feel like this will be forgotten.

Sunday, January 20, 2013


someone left recently. okay, so this person and i, we weren't close in THAT way or anything. i mean, we were all friends. all of us hung out together in a group. we considered him as part of the group. but it's not him leaving that irks me, it's that he just went and disappeared like that and never said a word. i do think he could have let us know. that he could have let ME know, since i'm one of the persons whom he talked to more among us. 

another person let me down today. i shall not go into details. i don't want to think about it.

it's not like they are doing it on purpose, i know. people are flawed. heck, I'M flawed. so much more. i'd say that i'm the most flawed, difficult, shallow, insincere, feckless person i know. what am i doing feeling disappointed, when i've hurt others way more? i should know. they likely didn't want things to be this way either, or they never thought that it would actually matter to me. they didn't know. it isn't their fault.

of course it is, they had a choice. they could have chosen me.

but they're only human! there's only so much they can do. they can't be everywhere, do everything. they appreciate you too, but they still have their own lives, priorities, families, activities.


will you just stop being so selfish and thinking about yourself and keep dwelling on how YOU'RE the worse off? you could, you know. stop feeling like the victim and just forget it. they're not aware of it, they didn't mean to make you feel this way. they're still your friends. they care about you and want to be there for you. it's just this one time. i'm sure they feel bad about it too and will want to make it up to you. 

mmph. YOU'RE the one who should stop. stop making excuses for people. stop thinking people are really that sincere and concerned. if they wanted to be there for you, they would. get this straight. people are weak. people are a liability. people are unreliable, undependable. people are disposable. they're just there for a carefree, reckless, jolly good time. any more than that, who cares?

it always happens so innocently, doesn't it. random hellos turn into actual conversations which lead to glimpses into their lives, learning more about them. you start spending time together. lunches. funny online chats which have you in stitches. laughing. hanging out. you start caring about them. you never asked if they cared about you too, you just assumed it was so. after all, you guys were friends. after all, weren't you going through all the routine stuff that friends do? funny, but 'friends' don't just leave, or stand you up, or forget about you.

stop getting attached to people. because people leave. everyone. whether by choice or by circumstance. EVERY. ONE. LEAVES.

you can't count on anyone. stop being so foolish and caring about others. stop thinking that they will be there for you. stop being so gullible, naive, pathetic and weak. stop giving yourself to others. that just makes you vulnerable. stop thinking that they'll match you part by part and give of themselves as well. they won't.

haven't you seen and experienced that sufficiently? haven't YOU been 'disposed' of enough times to know? it's not a bad thing per se, it just is. that's just how people are. 

hoping only leads to disappointment. next time, don't even hope. when someone promises you something, or tells you that this is going to happen, or they're going to be there, you can look enthusiastically pleasant and go along with it, but don't count on it. don't be hopeful and look forward to it. because chances are, they won't be in your life after a while and it won't happen in the end.

don't waste your time thinking negative thoughts about people when they probably aren't even thinking about you at all. life goes on. this is all the time you have on earth, and are you going to spend it smoldering inside just because you've been disappointed by someone (or many of them?)

don't keep mulling and being depressed over it. this is just how things are! you should know. it's okay. accept it. smile and laugh and lift your chin a little higher. go out and taste the unknown, surround yourself with other positive things and be happy. make the most out of what little time you have here.

anyway, who are you to say anything? you're the same too, just like everyone else. it takes one to know one, you know. you've let people down too, you've hurt others, you've been untrustworthy and unreliable and failed others as well. we're all in the same boat together. isn't that so morbidly ironic? haha!

things change. friends leave. nevertheless, this i know :

"The Lord your God goes with you ; He will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deu 31 : 6

p.s. isn't this post so dark, twisted, and melancholic? just another one of my many thoughts that swirl together in my mind's depths.

p.p.s. fyi, the depths of my mind are not always as gloomy and despondent. there are happy things there too. like bunnies. and rainbows. and clouds made of puffs of cotton candy.

Friday, January 18, 2013

DAY IN THE LIFE : 18th JAN 2013


meal 1, 0930hrs
- one chicken breast
- two eggs
- kidney beans
- coffee

meal 2, 1630hrs
- chicken breast
- one slice of wholegrain bread

meal 3, 1930hrs
- one apple
- one small banana
- one kitkat

meal 4, 2100hrs
- one egg
- kidney beans
- oats


did i mention i did some squats yesterday? 

nothing major, just bodyweight squats. however i rarely squat, which resulted in an expected satisfying soreness in my quads and glutes today. (quads = front thigh muscles / glutes = back thigh muscles)

it rained heavily in the afternoon and i'd had a pretty tiring day yesterday, so i took a nice walk after the rain. everything just smelt fresh and the weather was cool and nice. 6.4km down.


Sunday, January 13, 2013


"What do you desire?
What makes you itch?
What sort of a situation would you like?
Let's suppose, (I do this often in vocational guidance of students. They come 
to me and say, "well, uh, we're getting out of college and we haven't the 
faintest idea of what we want to do.)
So I always ask the question:
What would you like to do if money were no object?
How would you really enjoy spending your life?
Well, it's so amazing as a result of our kind of educational system crowds of students 
will say, "well, we'd like to be painters, we'd like to be poets, we'd like to be writers,
because everybody knows that you can't earn any money that way."
Another person says, "well I'd like to live an outdoors life and ride horses."
I said, "do you want to teach in a riding school?"
Let's go through with it, what do you want to do?
When we finally got down to something which the individual says he really wants to do,
I will say to him, "You do that, and forget the money...because if you say that
getting the money is the most important thing, You will spend your life...completely wasting
your time. You will be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living - that is
to go on doing things you don't like doing - which is stupid."
Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing, then a 
long life spent in a miserable way.
And after all, if you do really like what you are doing, it doesn't matter what it is.
You can eventually become a master at it. The only way to become a master
at something is if you're really with it. And then you will be able to get a good fee
for whatever it is. So don't worry too much, everybody, somebody is interested in everything.
And anything you can be interested in, you can find others.
But it's absolutely stupid to spend your time doing things you don't like in order to go 
on spending things you don't like/doing things you don't like, and to teach your 
children to follow the same track.
What we are doing, is we are bringing up children in education, to live the same sort
of lives we're living. 
In order that they may justify themselves and find satisfaction in life by 
bringing up their children, to bring up their children to do the same things - so it's
all wretch and no vomit - it never gets there.
And so, therefore, it's so important to consider this question:
What do I desire?"

- Anonymous


Friday, January 11, 2013


yesterday (thursday) i was feeling utter crap. my nose was running like a leaky faucet, i was sweating yet feeling cold. i thought of throwing in the towel and curling up in bed instead of going for my run as scheduled. but somehow, i dragged myself through the door and to the track.

managed to log in a 14.14km run and 4km of bike. 

of all my runs, yesterday's one was probably the absolute worst, the most horrible, most torturous one. i tell you i was going through every level of hell, suffering and cursing. but do i regret going ahead and whopping my arse as bad as i did?


because yesterday i learned again ; no matter how much you think you can't go on anymore, you can. you always can. 
so much more than you imagine.


Wednesday, January 9, 2013


this is the seven-hundred-and-eleventh post on my blog.

oh wowee look, the lights are flickering!
i am easily amused.

in actuality, i feel anything but chirpy.  other people are getting back to the daily grind ; college, school, work, other watchamacalits. me, i'm sitting in front of the computer creeping all over cyberspace. maybe taking time off for seven months wasn't such a good idea? well i'm sure i'll feel differently when i'm in aussie in march, or scaling kinabalu in may (yes, it's really going to happen!!)

i was told i'd been shortlisted for a short term job i'd applied for, and that their HR dept would get to me. i was so grateful and optimistic when i heard that! but it's been one week and i'm still sitting by the phone twiddling my thumbs. nope, nada, not a single ring from them. zero, absolutely zilch.

there are three big pimples on my face. on the upside, they've all decided to be merciful and come up within the hairy region that is my eyebrows ; two on my left brow and one on my right brow. thus they are absolutely unnoticeable and do not affect my appearance in the least. cool, very cool of them.

lack of human interaction is turning out to be a serious problem here. i'm a chatty social person, and when i don't get enough of socializing i shrivel up like a dead leaf. i do still get out and about for cf, church, and workout appointments, but it's not enough!

heading out to mpsj later for some much needed exercise and fresh air and hopefully that cute guy i've been seeing around the past few times will be there too hehe. methinks he's a footballer (uhh.. football is totally not my thing) but hey nothing wrong with just appreciating the view eh B)


Monday, January 7, 2013



Wednesday, January 2, 2013


oh hai there.

nothing much, just wanted to share with you guys a picture of my healthy yet wonderfully yummy breakkie.

1 packet enoki mushrooms + 1 tomato + 2eggs,
cooked in a nonstick pan without any oil and garnished with chopped spring onion.