Friday, October 11, 2013


The other day I met up with one of my guy friends I hadn't seen in a while. He was telling me about the girl he'd been going out with for a couple of months, and to say he seemed enthusiastic about her would pretty much be an understatement. 

He raved on and on, gushing about how she was the most amazing creature to ever walk the face of the earth, how incredibly graceful and beautiful she was, the list goes on. 

I listened as he passionately declared that she was The One, how he was so utterly in love with her and would do anything for her.


Me: So, you're saying you love her. Are you sure? 
Him: Yes! I've never been so certain of anything in my life! 
Me: Do you see a future with her? 
Him: Huh? A future with her? 
Me: Would you bring her into your circle of friends and family? Comfort her when she needs you? Put her happiness above your own? Commit to a relationship with her? Build a life together with her? 

Him: Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down! What does all this have to do with anything? 
Me: Well, you said you were so sure she was 'The One'. You said you loved her so much. What does 'LOVE' mean to you? 

He pondered upon my question for a moment, then replied 

Him: I guess its a feeling of deep attraction that I have towards her. 
Me: So you're saying love is characterized by warm fuzzy feelings towards someone? What good are warm fuzzy feelings? They don't prove anything. It's your actions that show what someone truly means to you. 
Proclaiming love for someone when you've gone out with them for just a couple of months just doesn't make any sense. In the first place, how well do you really know her or him? If you don't have a thorough, holistic understanding of what they're like, how can you say you love who they are? 

I find it queer how some people can have such a shallow interpretation of the meaning of love when it's such a strong and powerful concept. Rather than just giving lip service, it's your actions which truly speak whether you love someone or not.
Please know that I'm not trying to be snide or sarcastic towards anybody in making this post. I'm not a relationship guru or some expert on the topic. The reason for me sharing this is to invoke in my readers their own clarity and recognition of it as well as for me to lay out my own thoughts and more clearly define for myself what loving someone truly means. 

I can't help but to relate to a passage in the Bible (taken from The Message version)

1 Corinthians Chapter 13:

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
   Love doesn’t strut,
   Doesn’t have a swelled head,
   Doesn’t force itself on others,
   Isn’t always “me first,”
   Doesn’t fly off the handle,
   Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.

When I tell someone I love them (and vice versa), I want to mean it like the passage above describes.


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