Monday, December 31, 2012

FINAL MINUTES

here's presenting another outfit post to you guys. i do really enjoy making these, dressing up puts me in a good mood for the day. :)


if you look closely you can see my tanlines from the ipoh + penang roadtrip.


gold chandelier necklace : aussie
sunflower ring : asian avenue
watch : guy laroche
aztec print dress : billabong

***

so, it's another year gone, another year of singledom firmly stamped. 

(yes i know i'm writing about a lot of relationship-ey stuff lately, but screw it if you're complaining. writing is my therapy and this is my blog so i can do whatever i want.)

david was chatting with me the other day, and suddenly up came this intriguing enquiry. 

"doesn't the loneliness bother you sometimes?"
"well.. that's an interesting question."

because if i'm being honest, the answer would be yes. but loneliness, is that a reason to get yourself into a relationship? just to feel good that you now have someone to call your own? 

then he asked me, well aren't you bothered when you see others being so seemingly happy with their partners? doesn't it make you wish you had someone as well?

in response to his question, i admit that i wish i had someone sometimes, but it has nothing to do with the status of those around me. any normal human being craves affection and emotional fulfillment ; i am no different.

people should get attached when they're ready, not when they're lonely. because that's just a selfish reason for getting another person into the picture ; having someone purely for the sake of you not being on your own. to try to build a relationship solely to close that chasm? you're trying to fit people into a gap in your heart, like an impatient and frustrated toddler attempting to force different blocks into a mould that is really only meant for that one compatible block.

you try so hard to push them in although they're not the right fit, but in the end you have to let them go. each new one that comes along gives you a newfound hope that this, THIS may be THE ONE and you cling to them a little tighter, try even more doggedly to fit them in. 

every time a person leaves, that emptiness just grows more and more acute and you grow more and more desperate to have someone, ANYONE to be there for you. you're so disheartened after all the failed attempts that you end up feeling bitter, forlorn, and dejected.


you try and try, and with each time you alter what you're looking for just so slightly, in the hopes of accommodating each new person. in the end after so many tries, even you've forgotten what you wanted in the first place because every time you get involved with someone, it affects you. you may say nay, but i still say that relationships do impact people even after they've long ended.

***

instead of constantly thinking all the time and fretting about being single, one should immerse and find joy in all the love and beauty already surrounding them. in family, friends, pets, nature, and most importantly with God. instead of hoping and waiting for someone to appear and fulfill all the expectations that you've set for a relationship, you should work on rising to those challenges and make yourself a better person, because that'll itself will attract another person on par with those standards that you've set and laid down for yourself.


when you wait and persevere for your standards and expectations, and ask God to provide the right person, you'll immediately know when they come along. you would not have waited too long, nor would they  be late. you both would have found each other precisely when the time is right. the wait will have been worth it, the victory of finding each other would be all the sweeter, because you abided your time and had been patient. 


wow.

now, that was a whole load of deep and jaded jumbled thoughts. i had no idea, where did they even come from? ahh well. one thing i do know, it sure feels surprisingly refreshing to write all that down. :)

still there? good, good. 

here's a goofy picture to lighten things up after all the seriousness and heaviness of this post! :D


out with my bro yesterday ; took ridiculous pictures at the apple store, set them as desktop wallpapers, then ran away giggling hysterically like complete juveniles.

***

well, i'll wrap up here. i wish all of you a Happy New Year, and hope you'll have a great one ahead! 


                        

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