Sunday, May 6, 2012

SOFTLY



SCENE 1
my group was going out into a place we were not very familiar with. our leader was deciding how to send the 8 of us out. finally, he came to a decision.

"well guys, i decided that in this situation, the most important matter is safety. there are four girls and four of us guys. since cheryl is the girl who needs the least protecting, we need not worry too much about her. so cheryl, you'll be going with..." 

(proceeds to pair me up with the smallest and youngest guy in our group)


SCENE 2
while on the court, a guy accidentally slammed into me with full force, which sent me flying splat right on the ground.

guy who ran into me : are you ok? are you ok? i'm sorry!
guy 1 : i'm pretty sure you've been through worse before, haven't you?
guy 2 : don't worry dude, she's tough. nothing wrong, ay?
me : yeah.. it's ok.

***

i know i may seem like a 'tough' girl, someone who's strong, unshakeable and not easily hurt. 
not just emotionally, but physically as well.

but i wish..

i wish guys could see that nonetheless, i am still a girl. maybe i just don't like telling people how disappointed and crushed i can be. maybe i just put on a show of being ok and aloof, when inside i'm really feeling just as vulnerable and fragile.

maybe i can lift heavy as some others, but i sure wouldn't mind being given a hand in bearing some of these burdens. maybe a bruised knee or bloodied shin wouldn't bother me as much as it does other females, but concern and kindness would make it seem much less painful. 

even if i appear independent and flamboyant at times, it doesn't mean i wouldn't appreciate someone caring enough to see that i get home safely. just because i laugh and throw friendly punches doesn't mean i'm actually OK with always being called 'one of the guys' and bandied about with as though i'm one of their equally testosterone driven counterparts.







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