Monday, November 21, 2011


it's the last week of classes, with all of us swept up into this crazy frenetic whirlwind as we desperately scramble to finish up assignments, study for tests, cram for exams, submit homework, get extra credit work, and the list goes on.


hey, just because i'm blogging doesn't make me any less different. in two days time, i have a test, a web development deadline, a client project to present, and i'm not even halfway through yet. but anyway. i didn't choose to blog to bore you with the sad facts of my academic status. 

i haven't blogged anything personal for such a long time ; if you're a regular here, you'd know that of late, all i do are post up a few pictures, insert appropriate captions, and voila, a new post! or even worse, grab a few pictures off tumblr just to update and keep my blog alive. *crawls into blogging hole of shame*

but this time it's different. read on.


when i came back from residential bible school (RBS) early last year, i'd piled on the pounds. 6 weeks of wonderful, glorious food - i'd stuffed my face with pancakes, scones, cookies, chocolate, chips, you name it. the frosty weather of the highlands meant supper of steaming maggi mee, cups and cups of hot milo and coffee, plus more fattening snacks.

needless to say, i practically rolled back down in a huge blubbery ball. it didn't help either that i next spent a period of time in aussie, where the food is plentiful and rich, with gargantuan portions. 

maybe some of you are going "nahh, she wasn't that big!" well i say I WAS. need proof?

(goodness me i can't believe i'm sharing such embarassing photos here) 

agree with me now? 

it was the fattest i'd ever been, and i couldn't remember a time when i'd felt more uncomfortable with my own body, or more depressed. i promised myself that i'd lose it, but every day, i'd make more and more excuses

"i'll just have this last bar of chocolate"
"i'll only have one more burger"
"it's friday"
"it's a public holiday"
"it's christmas"
"it's easter"
"it's Chinese New Year"
"it's Hari Raya"
"it's your birthday"
"it's my birthday"

blablablablabla etc etc

i rolled around in self pity and depression, not quite knowing what to do. i tried to lose it, but what i didn't know was that i was doing everything wrong. i didn't even understand the first thing about health and fitness, which may seem ironic considering my high involvement with sports. sure, i could shoot hoops and run, but i didn't comprehend even the basic facts about getting and staying fit.

i had hit bottom, and was at my lowest low. i felt like i'd tried everything, and didn't understand what i was doing wrong. 

then, one night at the beginning of this year, i stumbled upon a few health and fitness websites. they taught positive principles, healthy eating, that you had to accept yourself first before you could start to change, and so on.

i was intrigued. i mean, FINALLY, something i could relate to! someone who wasn't telling me that i had to change because i wasn't good enough, but that i was too good to stay this way - out of shape and unhappy.

i took what i learnt to heart, and made serious changes and commitments. i encountered failure after failure, sometimes i wanted to give up and throw in the towel. but i persevered, and i'm glad i did. because since that day (sometime in early april) i'm fitter than i've ever been, even in high school. some of my clothes from my school days don't even fit right any more, i can't wear them because they're too big!

so maybe i'm not exactly the leanest, or the meanest. i know i'm not skinny, in fact i'm far from it. but damn i worked hard to get where i am now, and i'm PROUD OF IT.

i don't know how much weight i've lost - and i don't care. all i know is i can't even wear some clothes which used to be tight for me int he past. what matters is FAT loss, not weight loss. besides, how much you weigh isn't important. after all, 50kgs of lean, toned, muscle, is a hell lot better than 50kgs of soft flabby fat!

so, how did i do it?*

change your mind, change yourself  
it's all in your head. be mentally prepared for the challenges you'll face, and know that failure is inevitable. what's important is having that inner strength to learn from them and rise again.

even if you think you can't run a 5k, that's ok! you don't have to try to measure up to a marathon runner. however, i'd say to PUSH yourself as hard as you can, until you feel like you can't go on. break down your walls, that's the only way to keep moving forward.

eat clean
just because you just busted your ass at the gym, doesn't give you the green light to chow down on a big mac. don't waste your effort, only to throw it away in an ignorant decision! i don't know about you, but i like my food REAL. i guess it's pretty simple, if it came from a plant, or has a mother, it's good to eat! some of the things that i eat would be apples, spinach, tofu, broccoli, lettuce, boiled eggs, chicken breast, mushrooms, papayas, watermelon, beans, and oatmeal.

hungry? eat! 
don't think that just because you skipped a meal, you'll get there faster. believe me when i say i tried that, and tripped myself up every time. not only does skipping meals slow down your metabolism, it also backfires on you as you're likely to be so hungry at your next meal, you'll end up eating more than you would in two meals.

watch your portions
even if it says healthy / low fat/ low sugar / low calorie, it's not gonna help you get in shape if you eat the whole box. 

don't deprive yourself
if you totally remove your favourite foods from your life, you're only going to crave them even more, resulting in high likeliness to give in and binge. it's ok to eat ice cream, or chocolate! just make sure that it's an occasional thing.

get your zzz's 
after all the hard work that you put into diet and exercise, your body's gonna need rest, to repair itself and take in the fuel that you've put into it. sleep is IMPORTANT, i cannot stress this enough. which explains why i've stopped my late night GG sessions, and before 1am, i'm already in bed. 6-8hours of sleep a day is optimum for your body.

have faith
you aren't going to see results in a week, two weeks, three weeks, maybe even a month. for me, it took about 4months before i started seeing changes. it's easy to give up when you think your hard work isn't getting you anywhere, but keep it up! trust me, you WILL get there.

i'm no fitness / nutrition guru, just speaking from my personal experience. i hope that by sharing this with you people, i'll have helped anyone out there who is struggling as well. 

want more? drop a message in my chatbox! :)


  1. Wow! You look great! I'm hitting the gym starting today! hahaha!

  2. omg! inspiring! totally motivated now lol!