Friday, May 6, 2011

SO BE IT

it's 1a.m., i just had a few too many pieces of papaya and i feel so so full right now. i'm as sleepy as a dormouse, and the only thing which is keeping me from heading to bed is because the extremely uncomfortable feeling of sleeping on a full stomach, so here i am blogging while willing the food to digest as soon as possible.

i've said this in the previous few posts, and i'll say it again. nothing much is going on. oh wait, i take that back. stuff IS happening, but it's too personal to share specific details here.

***

i hate it, when people preach at me about THEIR ideas about life as it should be lived, THEIR ideas about language as it should be spoke, THEIR ideas of everything and anything. to tell the truth, you have not the slightest idea what in the blazes is going on. you know nothing about me. yes, you can claim to know more than a few random facts about me, but that doesn't mean, not for one moment, that you know ME. i implore you, for goodness sake, do not come at me with your starchy ideas of how i should do things. 

the very action of you doing so, shows that you know not the slightest bit about me. when i feel strongly about something, when i have thoroughly made up my mind about it, i would have thought through and through again, and concur that i indeed have valid reasons to have chosen that path. my beliefs are unshakeable, and you might just as well try demolishing everest with a kid's shovel, than to get me to change my ways (unless you have extremely sound, logical reasons why.) 

don't ever come at me with a "you're wrong and you should do it this way because this is THE way it's done" because truth is, it's because you want me to do it YOUR way. don't tell me "you can't do this, because i say so", when you don't even have rational reasons to back you up, and you don't even know why you yourself are saying it.

don't bloody act as if you have my best interests at heart, because i see right through all your nonsense and i know that all YOU are worried about is yourself, how others will think of you. if you're such a nervous wreck and get tied up in knots about what other people think, it's up to you, but don't EVER try to impose yourself on me, because i am having none of your warped psychological muck.

some people choose to be different. some people just choose not to let what affects others, affect them. some people choose to let go of the burdens and cares that most of the world carry. is that so hard for you to accept? is it so difficult to see me go my own path, to let me follow what i believe in?

***

i welcome advice and can take criticism. if you have good reasons to support you on why you think i am wrong, and tell me, i am willing to accept your opinions, and even change my stand and make adjustments in certain things that i do, but don't you dare, for a single fleeting moment, to even FATHOM that you can just come along and cram your ideologies down my throat and expect me to swallow them down. i am my own person, and i know bloody well what i believe in. 

it is MY life, and it is for ME to live. why should i care about what others think? do i live my life for them? i am going to live my life to the fullest, and i don't see why other people's insignificant opinions should hold me back from doing what i want and going the furthest i can.

***

P.S. sorry for the long rant, and for the vagueness of details. i have to be careful about how i word my posts, seeing as there are certain people out there who get so wound up and miffed over my attitudes towards certain issues and stick their busybody noses into everything.

P.P.S. seriously people, can you just take a chill pill? i am still growing, my attitudes and beliefs will unevitably undergo changes as i go through the years, and as with all people, i will probably leave some things which i consider important to me at this point of my life. there's no need to get so flustered and concerned about things which don't matter much anyway (such as the number of piercings i have, or the music i listen to) as they only make up certain components of my life, and i don't see them having a huge drastic profound impact, or being permanently etched in stone that this is the way i will be for the as long as i live.

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