Saturday, April 23, 2011

FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART

my apologies for being away for so long!

something i am bursting to get off my chest :

- i KNOW, that i can write, and write well, too! for crying out loud, i have never received anything less than A's for any english literature subject! so i had better pass this subject, and pass it good! for real, i am gonna be damn pissed if i don't make it. what, am i not a student who has always shown my calibre in any subjects related to english, who has proven that i CAN write? i am freaking out here. i WANT that A, which i know i bloody well am entitled to!

***

so anyway, some asshole has been harassing and threatening me online.

last week, i received texts from an unknown number, asking if we could be friends. well i don't know about you, but i sure as hell do not make friends with random freaks who text me out of the blue, and in crappy english too. if don't already know, PPL HU TYP LIK TIS, and have typos and grammatical errors all over the place, annoy the hell out of me.

i sent back some sarcastic reply to the dick. unfortunately, he being the thick headed, pigbrained, numbskull that he was, did not get the message that i DID NOT WANT TO BE FRIENDS, and continued sending me stupid annoying messages, such as "hye dear.. how are you? pls remember to alwez kip in touch" to which i said "i AM NOT your dear. and i do not want to keep in touch". he then irritably replied "why...? dere is no harm to b frens ryte.."

stop wasting my time, you loser.

then, a few days ago, some guy using the name 'Prince Vera' talked to me on fb.

PRINCE VERA, YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS, SEEKS TO MAKE AN ACQUAINTANCE.

he told me that he was the one who had been texting me, and couldn't understand why i couldn't just be a nice, friendly person, and let him get to know me.

WHAT THE
i tell you, if not for the fact that i have a strong standing policy against swearing, i would have spewed out several colourful expletives which would have scared the living daylights out of your grandma.

anyway, he kept on pressing me, preaching righteously and saying that there's no harm in getting to know people, it's always good to make new friends, and all that horse dung.

DUDE, I SWEAR IF I HAD A KNIFE WITH ME AND YOU WERE STANDING IN FRONT OF ME, I WOULD HAVE RUN YOU THROUGH WITH IT.

so bloody infuriating can??!! don't you dare bloody try to act all condescending and patronize me!

yeah, why indeed, would i not want to be your friend? after all, you're only a random stranger, whom i know nothing about. you could be a psycho with a fetish for panties, you could be an abusive depressed drunkard, why would i want to waste my money and time replying to your texts and fb messages?

i was in a majorly nasty mood that day, having to meet the deadlines for several assignments in a few hours, and i was ready to pull my hair out from all the academic stress. i DID NOT NEED some slimy dickhead annoying me shitless, whining and wheedling desperately for my attention when i had more, WAY more significant things to take care of.

and FYI, behaving in such a manner, does in NO WAY make me want to be your 'friend'. indeed, it only spurs me to do the opposite.

so i took gleeful scathing pleasure in telling him exactly what i thought of pathetic lifeless losers who dig up the phone numbers of girls they do not know, then proceed to send countless texts practically begging to make an acquaintance.

what, are you so repugnant that there is no way you could just make friends with people around you, that you have to resort to such desperate, pitiable measures to get to know females? then by golly, you can just imagine, how that  makes me just want to fall all over myself, rushing to shake your hand! NOT.

after my crushing reply, which must have indefinitely bruised his ego, he showed his Hyde.

he told me that i had better watch out, that he was going to come to my college to 'get me' and show me what kind of a person he could really be. he said that he had friends where i was, and i had better be scared, very scared. then, he told me that he would publish my number.

*YAWNS*

oh my, mr 'Prince Vera", your threats have had me quivering at the knees! gee, i'm so terrified that i just shit in my pants. please, i beg of you, do me no harm, please!

*bursts out laughing uncontrollably at the ridiculosity of it all*

sure, i'm totally regretting not giving you a chance and getting to know you, now that i've seen how gentlemanly and matured you are! piece of shit.

YOU, you filthy scum, are the one who had better take note. if you try anything funny, mark my words, i bloody well will lodge a legal report, and take joy in hunting you down and making sure you pay, every single inch.

now, run along with your tail between your legs, and don't you dare return!


hey look someone searched for pictures of smashed cockroaches and google led them to my blog! haha!


2 comments:

  1. whoa, what a weirdo! so random yet so creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. cheryl - i know! X( i really should be more careful.

    ReplyDelete