Sunday, April 3, 2011

CONQUERING TEMPTATION

hey there. :)


my skin looks so dry and flaky in the picture above. :/

so anyway, i went out yesterday but i don't think i'll blog about it now because it's kinda late and i'm tired. some other day i suppose. but i have to post something first to get my blogging fix (lol sounds like a drug) before i head to bed.

i had another interesting dream a few days ago.

i have a friend, lets call him X. i've known him since we were kids, and we were pretty tight before he moved away to another state 8 years ago, which was when we lost contact with each other. we've reconnected a couple years back, and daymn, he's grown to be seriously good looking.

tall, broad shoulders, athletic, a good conversationalist (VERY IMPORTANT IN MY BOOK!! if you know me personally, you'd know why, right? :D) plus he's smart to boot. mmm, just my kinda guy. thing is, X already has a girlfriend (has been with her for more than 2 years), and is totally devoted to her already. no matter, that's all good. i'm happy for him, and there are plenty other guys out there. that, and the fact that i would never, EVER make a move on someone who's already attached.

well moving on to my dream.

***

in my dream, i was having dinner with X, just the two of us. i don't know where we were, but it was at some upper class place (there was candlelight!), and we were rather dressed up. we talked and laughed, basically just had a good time. after dinner, we went to a park for a walk.

it was evening, pretty romantic. after walking around for some time, he sat down on a bench, and pulled me down to sit on his lap before trying to kiss me.


right brain - hottie trying to make a move on me, yeow! :D
left brain - you idiot, would you really lower your standards, defy your principles and morals, go along with him and help him cheat on his girlfriend?

i turned away quickly got up before he could succeed in getting a peck, smoothing down my clothes. "what are you trying to do?" i asked him.

"come on, she doesn't need to know." he answered, attempting to pull me back to him. i pushed him away,  but then he stood up as well and tried to hug me. i then pushed him away HARD, before scoffing, giving him a sarcastic smirk and walking away.

***

i don't know how this dream came about but i'm woke up feeling jubilant, empowered, and happy! it proves that even subconsciously, my principles and morals in the field of love are strong and sound!

because, as confident, independent, and secure as i might appear to be outwardly, sometimes, i do question as well.

why is it, that i have been single for so long?

ok that was just a rhetorical question, no point asking that because i already know the answer.

it is because there is no one i see that has met my requirements yet! or if there is, they either already attached, gay, not looking for a relationship, or are out of my reach. (josh kloss josh kloss josh kloss! haha)



now there's some eye candy for you!

in case you didn't know, he's the guy alongside katy perry in the teenage dream music video.

but coming back to what i said, sometimes i do question why, and i wonder how long i am willing to wait. it is easy to say for now, and be all gung ho and determined about it, but what if i were in my 30s and still single (touch wood), would i still be so staunch about my beliefs, would i still be so determined sticking it out on my own looking for The One?

or would i just go "shit if i don't get married PRONTO, soon i'm gonna be a little old lady living alone and one fine day neighbours will detect a foul smell coming from my house and call the cops and then they'll break down the doors, only to find me stiff, cold, and dead in my rocking chair and that will be the story of my pathetic single life." and start getting desperate, thus throwing myself at any guy who shows the merest signs of interest in me?

i certainly hope not!

so what are my requirements, you ask? here they are, in no particular order.

1. he must be, MUST be intelligent. i don't mean i want him to be able to recite the entire encyclopedia britannica, or calculate the value of the square root of pi in his head, i want someone who is up to date with events and information, someone who is witty and able to hold his own in a conversation, someone who is able to argue his way with strong backing of facts and information. someone who has the capacity to keep up with me on my level of thoughts. (mind you, i can get pretty technical and factual sometimes with serious issues)

(and i know some people might probably be scoffing at me going "hmmph, so does SHE think now, that she's all that intelligent and witty? well as a matter of fact, YES I DO. :D)

(ok so i don't actually think of myself that i way, that was a joke you moron. but while i might not be at the top of the mensa list, i know for a fact that i am not stupid. i dare you to disagree.)

2. while i am not your typical goody two shoes little christian girl, i still hold strongly to my religion. i have been born into a christian family, and a big part of my life revolves around events and friends at church. therefore, i would like him to be a christian, or at least not against christianity.

3. he has to have a good character. as in, filial to his parents (ok i know im not exactly daddy's little girl and have my fair share of disagreements with them, but i strongly believe in filial piety e.g. not dumping your parents in an old folks home when they start getting old and finicky. your mother put up with your kicking and squirming in her womb for 9 months, and then put up with you for the subsequent 20something years of your life, and your father put a house over your head and food on the table for you! would you abandon them when things get trying?), a loyal friend, have a good sense of fairness, respectful towards women, etc etc.

4. he has to have his principles and priorities right. i do not wish to marry someone who will not be able to support me and subsequently, our kids in the future. (that is, if we decide to have kids. i think children can be rather annoying at times. maybe i'll just settle for a dog. or perhaps a parrot, if i want conversation. :D) so he must have all the right priorities. no way would i settle for someone who is lazy, has no ambitions or plans for the future, and is content to just live his life off his parents' money in front of the telly with a can of booze in one hand and a bag of chips in the other.

5. i know some may say that this is purely superficial, and does in no way play a part or affect relationships in any way, and it's the inside that counts, bla bla bla, but i would like to have someone who is above average in the looks department. while i am no megan fox, i don't think i am a fugly bag either, and that i am entitled to have my expectations, so there.

(well, depending on the circumstances, i might make some exceptions to this one.)

6. preferably not a smoker, alcoholic, or couch potato. it would also be nice if he would not patronise strip clubs, or have a fetish for panties. oh, and i also strongly dislike people who use profanities in every single sentence that comes out of their mouth. i would like him not to have had shagged 50 girls in the past, or have had a criminal record. and did i mention that it would be pleasing to have someone who actually brushes his teeth and combs his hair in the morning?

(ok so no.6 was half in jest. emphasis on HALF :D)

yes i know it is a rather tall order to meet, and with such high expectations, i might have to wait slightly longer. but no matter! when a guy comes along who does meet all those conditons, i know, i KNOW, he will have been worth the wait. :)





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