Wednesday, January 26, 2011


somehow the past few days i've had my mind held captive, bound by all these deep thoughts. most of them are highly emotional, surprising, uplifting, intriguing. i never knew i had such capacity to contain such thoughts, let alone produce them.

and on a sidenote, most of these recent thoughts arent related to my previous post kay.
ahem. and so i shall continue.

ive been thinking so much i think im gonna explode. i dont think ive been doing so intentionally, its just something that creeps up upon me as and when it pleases. i've been zoning out much more than usual, up to the point where i drift off into my own little island of thoughts surrounded by mist and fog where time crawls on, and everything's such a blur, until someone nudges me and i come back to reality with a jolt and realize that everyone at the room has been staring at me while my mind was wandering everywhere but, with my eyes staring off blankly into space, glazed with indifference to my surroundings.

i feel so overwhelmed and emotional. im such a mishmash of feelings now that i dont even know what exactly it is that i feel. i dont know whether to be overjoyed or woeful. i only need one small thing to tip over this bloated bucket of emotions, and i seriously feel that i'll either burst into tears or start singing "if you're happy and you know it" at the top of my lungs.

i feel like falling on my knees in the rain, breaking down in tears, chest heaving and sobbing relentlessly, until i have nothing left to give. i feel like bursting out in laughter, arms open wide, face turned towards the sky in delight, rays of sun shining on my face, eyes closed and heart content, taking in every breath, until there is nothing left to take.

im sorry.

sometimes, the reason i dont talk about myself, is because i want you to ask.

this is so unlike me.

and, NO this way i am currently has not in any way been caused by anything to do with the opposite gender.

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