Wednesday, January 5, 2011

BLOODY MARY

it's that time of the month again (which explains the title of this post) and i feel like a bloated, oversized, gargantuan, grouchy, whale.


my back hurts. my stomach's knotted up in cramps. i'm letting out fart bombs the way an M16 lets out bullets. i feel heavy and listless.

curse this shizz, i feel like tearing my ovaries out and ripping out my uterus.


too graphic?

well, you've no idea how it feels when this happens so suck it up and live with it. unless, of course you're a girl, you'd understand perfectly what im talking about, how i feel, and undoubtedly agree with me. and if any females were to in any way differ in opinion, you'd be mad. stark raving bonkers. who the hell likes getting their period?

oh horrible horror. oh miserable misery. oh agonizing agony.

so anyway, i dont like guys with beards. who likes guys with beards? not me, eww. guys with beards make me totally suspicious. they always look like they're up to something, and have the beard to cover it up.


doesnt this guy look like he's totally got something up his sleeve?
he looks like he's gonna rob a bank or hijack a plane.

and come to think of it, i dont like guys with moustaches either. 


like, how in the world does this guy make out with his girlfriend? oh, i get it! he doesnt, because he doesnt have one!

plus, imagine all the little insects and whatnot which could be living inside that huge, hairy, nest. creepy much.

this post might have been offensive to some, but whatever!



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