Nike Run KL took place on sunday, just 3 days ago.
it was a bittersweet experience for me.
as we stood waiting to start, hot tears stung my cheeks, because i knew i could not possibly run the whole way.
the start gun sounded, and i began to run. i told myself i'd run as much as possible, but slow down whenever i felt the familiar dull pain before it could build up in my knee.
made it to 4.5km before it came upon me. slowed down to a walk.
puff, puff. walked, ran, walked, ran, walked, ran.
it shames me to think that back when i had no problems whatsoever with running, i'd keep it up the whole way, not slowing down to walk for even a second, and whenever i'd see others walking, i'd scoff inwardly at them, "hmph, weaklings". never again shall i be so condescending and arrogant in my thinking towards other runners. we each have our own race to run, and it is not our place to judge how others run their race when our own is still before us.
seeing others pass me with ease made me angry at myself, and the irony of the situation. do you know how hard i trained? how disciplined i was with my schedule, eating, and sleep?
if i were in form, finishing this 10km with a sub-1hour timing would have been no sweat.
8km, running became unbearable.
finished the 10k race walking across the finish line.
doesn't the above make me sound so angry and resentful? on part, i guess i was.
but after i was done, sitting on the grassy slopes on the edges of padang merbok mulling over the race, it also made me realize many things.
1:22:30 is actually a really good time for someone who was walking more than half of it.
although i couldn't run the whole way, at least i tried my best and gave it my all.
even though i walked, what was important was that i FINISHED the race.
it might not have been my fastest, but to hell with anyone who says i didn't give it my best shot.
and this. it made me cry because it rang so true.
"run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must ; just never give up."