Monday, September 20, 2010


why, good evening, people. or should i say good morning?

its 4 in the morning again, and i dont know where to begin. (wow it rhymes :D) have an english test tomorrow but screw it, i was never one to break a sweat over a test on my fave subject. anyway, back to what i was saying.

i dont know where to begin. i dont know what happened.

theres this person, whom ive known vaguely for some time, as in we've seen each other around and stuff and know friends of friends, but never really knew as in knew each other. so i got to know him better since last year, we've been friends for quite a while and got pretty close a few months back. well, the closest ive ever been to someone i got to know better online. which isnt THAT close but oh well.

he was just fun to talk to and id throw the randomest crap at him, (lord knows, those of you who're familiar with me, i have mountains of nonsense to talk about :D) and he always found my jokes funny. we'd be  up late chatting, and still have stuff to talk about.

dont get me wrong, this was, IS a purely platonic situation, with nothing going on.

our conversations were interesting, and i viewed him as a nice guy whom i could confide in about stuff i wouldnt normally tell others.

but somehow...i dont know. some time back, i sensed that our convos were becoming more strained and stilted, with him not being comfortable with me? and of late, i have this feeling that im being avoided. and i think its weird. did i grow an extra nose? no. did i send him any kind of nonsense online, which would have made him uncomfortable? no. did i do anything out of the usual? no.

so what is going on? you tell me.

like i said, i dont get emotionally attached to people easily, and people who are close to me, know that i measure people up and down, left and right, and usually have a good idea of what they're like before even allowing myself to share anything of myself with them. i dont think this is an emotional situation. im not about to go all emo and weepy the way some girls do. i'm not mad, or even remotely upset, because people rarely have an impact of that extent on me.

however, i do find this odd, and am a little confused. we have cheery, funny conversations, and talked about stuff deeper than everyday chitchat, and a month ago, you suddenly pack up and run? what gives, man?

or maybe im just thinking too much. O.O maybe theres nothing out of the ordinary but im just being a whiny, oversensitive, emotional bitch here.

i'm fine here, really. :) just a little confused. if you happen to be reading this now, yes YOU whom im talking about, then do enlighten me. say something, anything! just give me the rationale behind the way you're acting right now so at least, in my mind's eye, i'd be able to know why you've been like this.

or if you're a casual passerby and might have any heads up on a situation similar to mine, do tell, because i'm dying to know.


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