- hair loss
people around me dont realise how much hair i've been loosing cos originally i do have quite a lot, but when im combing through my hair with conditioner in the shower, it freaks me out to see how much comes away in my hands.
- rashes (the pic below isnt mine, its just one that looks similar that i grabbed off the internet)
they itch so bad, i scratch unconsciously in my sleep, and wake up with scaly, thick patches on my arms. recently, theyve been getting so bad that i cant sleep comfortably, and when i do wake up, theyve been scratched raw and bloody.
- that time of the month
and the worst so far,
- weight gain
ive put on so much weight in such a short time i feel so disgustingly grotesque. this just doesnt make any sense, cos im eating less than ive ever eaten for a long time, so shouldnt the results be weight loss instead of the direct opposite?
allow me to explain ; its not that im suppressing myself or anything like that, its just that i dont have the time to eat!
a typical day in my life now would be like this - i wake up at 7, and have to rush for an 8am class, so i usually grab a biscuit, or some oatmeal. college would go on till about 2? usually hang out at AC with other people after that but i dont eat there cos the food sucks and everything is pricey. then i'd reach home at about 4, feeling sleepy. dont eat lunch cos the feeling of sleeping right after a meal is soooo uncomfortable so yeah, no lunch and even if i do eat, itll be something light. i usually sleep till 7, so dinner is the only mealtime which allows me to sit down and get some food into my system, but after such a long time of not eating anything much, i cant handle eating regular portions which used to be no problem for me to consume, and end up eating less than half of what i used to eat compared to when i was in high school.
an example of what i ate today :
a few spoonfuls of oatmeal, stolen from bro cos he was going to school too.
lunch (yes, today was one of the exceptional days where i actually ate something)
1 serving of cabbage, about the size of a small fist,
1 piece of chicken smaller than the size of a stapler?
1 serving of salad (consists of cucumber slices, tomato cubes, lettuce, onions) the size of a small cup
4 cubes of meat, each about the size of a box of matches.
take note,there's no rice, noodles, bread, cookies, or any high calorie food, so what gives, man?
even though i dont eat as much as i used to, oddly enough, i dont feel hungry either, so i assume my appetite has shrunk.
so why am i gaining weight???
and why is my whole system just so messed up??
told rachel about it and she says im prolly just stressed but the thing is i feel A ok! i've taken to my course like a duck to water and im just coasting along in college, without feeling like its anything i cant handle, so whats happening here?