Monday, September 27, 2010


ever since i started college, ive been experiencing all these weird changes in my body, and i dont know how to explain them away.

  • hair loss 

people around me dont realise how much hair i've been loosing cos originally i do have quite a lot, but when im combing through my hair with conditioner in the shower, it freaks me out to see how much comes away in my hands.

  • rashes (the pic below isnt mine, its just one that looks similar that i grabbed off the internet)

they itch so bad, i scratch unconsciously in my sleep, and wake up with scaly, thick patches on my arms. recently, theyve been getting so bad that i cant sleep comfortably, and when i do wake up, theyve been scratched raw and bloody.

  • that time of the month 
this is really scary. yes, my periods have never been right on the dot, with the time deferring by up to 15days sometimes, but the last time i got my period was more than 60days ago.

and the worst so far,

  • weight gain 
claire sweeney weight gain
ive put on so much weight in such a short time i feel so disgustingly grotesque. this just doesnt make any sense, cos im eating less than ive ever eaten for a long time, so shouldnt the results be weight loss instead of the direct opposite?

allow me to explain ; its not that im suppressing myself or anything like that, its just that i dont have the time to eat!

a typical day in my life now would be like this - i wake up at 7, and have to rush for an 8am class, so i usually grab a biscuit, or some oatmeal. college would go on till about 2? usually hang out at AC with other people after that but i dont eat there cos the food sucks and everything is pricey. then i'd reach home at about 4, feeling sleepy. dont eat lunch cos the feeling of sleeping right after a meal is soooo uncomfortable so yeah, no lunch and even if i do eat, itll be something light. i usually sleep till 7, so dinner is the only mealtime which allows me to sit down and get some food into my system, but after such a long time of not eating anything much, i cant handle eating regular portions which used to be no problem for me to consume, and end up eating less than half of what i used to eat compared to when i was in high school.

an example of what i ate today :

a few spoonfuls of oatmeal, stolen from bro cos he was going to school too.

lunch  (yes, today was one of the exceptional days where i actually ate something)
1 serving of cabbage, about the size of a small fist,
1 piece of chicken smaller than the size of a stapler?

1 serving of salad (consists of cucumber slices, tomato cubes, lettuce, onions) the size of a small cup
2 eggs
4 cubes of meat, each about the size of a box of matches.

take note,there's no rice, noodles, bread, cookies, or any high calorie food, so what gives, man?

even though i dont eat as much as i used to, oddly enough, i dont feel hungry either, so i assume my appetite has shrunk.
so why am i gaining weight???
and why is my whole system just so messed up??

told rachel about it and she says im prolly just stressed but the thing is i feel A ok! i've taken to my course like a duck to water and im just coasting along in college, without feeling like its anything i cant handle, so whats happening here?

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